Dear Hotpoint
I know you do other stuff and therefore this letter should be directed to those members of staff associated with your mobile air conditioning units. I assume that one day not long ago, many of you sat down to consider the needs of the hot and sticky. I also assume that at this meeting, one of your more forward thinking members of staff wrote a note on the big 'ol think pad of a whiteboard you had there. Im my mind, I can picture it saying the following:
"Hey everyone... lets make this air conditioner that we are making *actually* cool places/people. lol"
Now. I would like to draw your attention to the Hotpoint model MAC150. It was bought in good faith by my employer so that I might be able to continue working for them as our sun continues to engorge our sorry globe in heat and fucking humidity. Why, then, rather than making my working day more bearable did it just sit there in the corner of the room wetly spewing legionaires disease riddled tepid air around me? What the fuck is wrong with you people? You think I like having the piss taken out of me? At first I thought it was a "setting". No. It wasn't the "setting". It was/is just a rubbish machine.
Anyway. As a result of your ineffectual ingenuity, I remained hot, sticky and largely uncomfortable. My productivity was on par with a Michael Jackson (RIP) backup dancer. I did fuckall today. It's your fault. If I get fired, I'm coming for you.
yours sweatingly,
Alex
P.S. The irony of being cooled by a hotpoint air conditioner was not lost on me. Ha ha. Cunt.
