I mean what are they complaining about?
XL dude: Sorry sir, you and your family will have to stay in the Carribean for a few more days until we work out how to get you home.
Grummy dad: Really? Well ok! Come on kids, back to the pool!
We flew with XL once to Cyprus. They forgot to get enough meals to serve us. I remember kicking off as we flew over the Alps with some snotty effeminate trolley pusher.
Me: Hello? Er yes. No meals for us?
Air host: Did you request meals, sir?
Me: No! My stomachs rumbling because it likes the blues, of course we ordered meals!
Air host: I'm sorry sir, it looks like we do not have enough meals on board!
Me: Whoa, whoa back up, princess. No meals? What am I supposed to eat, my feet?
AH: Oh sir, missing a meal wont do you any harm! Looks like you can spare a few pounds!
Me: OI! Thats fucking muscle!
AH: Its wobbling!
Me: I'm flexing, you jumped up pretty boy! No go and get me some food before I jam that bottle of moisturiser you overly use into your rectum!
AH: Oh Sir, I don-
Me: I meant nose! I'm going to jam it up your nose!!! No where else.
AH: I will see what I can do
Sometimes I understand why hostage situations happen on flights.
In other news, I'm being asked to look after a tortoise while the owners go on holiday! The bloody thing better be hibernated before it gets here, tomorrow. I've found a bottle of tippex. As soon as the time is right, I shall tippex a set of cock and balls on its shell!
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