Inconvenient garden more like!
I hate clubs. Social cesspools with not a single chocolatey biscuit within! I usually avoid them for two reasons.
1) I never have a clean shirt
2) Something unpleasant ALWAYS happens!
Last night was no exception. A stuck up doorman wearing a cheap suit decided not to let me and others into his sweaty den of sin. We verbally warred the following.
Cheap suit door man: Thats £12.50.
Me: You mean a fiver?
Csdm: 12.50!
Me: A moment ago it was a fiver! whats changed?
Csdm: Sir, I have a club full of people, if you dont cough up, we won't be any worse off!
Me: I'll make you worse off when I give you a paper cut with this five pound note!
Csdm: Right! Thats aggression! Leave at once!
Me: Aggression? Heres your aggression!
I then proceeded to pummel the self involved fuck-dustbin to within an inch of his life. A good night all in all.
The next time someone suggests a night out in our glorious city, I will opt to lick dust mites off the carpet as a better time.
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