These days, people get angry about milk costing about 30p more than usual. Thats 30 pence! You say economic crunch and everyone knows what you mean. We all just happily assume that within a few months we will be eating our own poo and drinking rain water. So when I walk into a service centre to pick up my car and get a bill with 4 digits, I kinda want to run through tescos, drop kicking people who are hesitating before buying the bumper bag of skips and opting for the inferior tescos own brand ready salted crisps.
The car drives the same, looks the same and even smells the same! The smarmy git who took my money made a joke about having to cut down on cigarettes. Then this happened:
Me:... I don't smoke!
Him: Ya, well y'know, you can cut down on other things.
Me: Like what?
Him: Well, what do you like?
Me: Cheap car servicing.
Him: Apart from that?
Me: Robust automotive technolo-
Him: Anything not to do with your car?
Me: ..... Dead Audi sales people?
Him: Heres your keys... I suggest you don't come back to this service center.
As I left, I called him a cuntgaroo. Stupid extortionate bastard!
The office is awash with excitement about saturdays fun bar-b-q day where duck herding is the main event. There is no way I'm leaving that do without booting one across the park. Can't wait!
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