3rd july - Hecklers will be beheaded!

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. Ridiculous. There, you happy? You know who you are! How is this for correct spelling:

F-U-D-G-E-S-P-U-R-T O-M-N-I-S-P-A-Z!

I was busy today. I'm not talking sympathy busy when people say it just to heap importance on themselves. I mean real busy. I my never ending quest to get stuff fixed, I spent several dozen minutes on the phone to far flung support engineers on the phone. I spoke to one lady in the sub-continent who insisted in speaking exactly 4 seconds after I had asked her a question. The tension was unbearable in places. This was all made better when she told me her name. The conversation was recorded for training purposes:

Her: Hello?
Me: Hi
Her: Hello, can I helpings?
Me: Yes I need help with some cheap, non functioning, over-priced technology, please.
Her: OK, I am named Munta, What is problems?
Me: Well I have an issue with- wait.... what?
Her? Whatings?
Me: What did you say your name was?
Her: Munta!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Her: Sir?
Me: HAHAHAHAHA
Her: Pleasings?
Me: Just wait a second wil you!!!
Her: OK
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Her: .....
Me: Ah Ok. That was great. Thanks Munta.
Her: Welcomings. So please explain the fault?
Me: Nah, you're ok, darling. I think I'm sorted for the day.

My xenophobia is affecting my professional career.

Ben called. Ben (the iron monger) disappears for months on end and turns up looking to meet up for a laugh. He is like an erant, divorced dad who turns up after lengthy intervals to see his disfunctional children who love him despite getting broken (and potentially stolen) toys from him. We arranged to meet up next week. All the excitement will be detailed here, unless we commit a crime in which case I shan't incriminate ourselves on these pages.