30th July - School disco

I had Graham, Ade and Dan (desktop) to keep me company today. We toiled with our job and got annoyed about things not working. Grahams rage hit a new high as after a particularly virulent phone call, he stabbed me twice in the gut with a pen! I don't let things like this ruin our friendship. After we checked into our hotel, I told Graham about the framed hot water warning in our bathrooms. After he checked, he called me up and declared the following:


Graham: Alex?
Me: Yes?
Graham: My sign is different!
Me: What... you mean you are like a Sagitarius or something?
Graham: No! I mean the bathroom warning...
Me: Well what does yours say?
Graham: "Graham dont put the shower head up your shitta"
Me: Really?
Graham: Yeah! Only I didn't notice it until after I done it.
Me: Aw!
Graham: So you wanna come and have a bath with me?
Me: No not really...
Graham: Another time, then. Don't be late for breakfast.
Me: Ok. I love you.
Graham: I love you too.


Prior to the completely true events above, Graham, Dan (Desktop) and I went for dinner together. We all shared a chocolate brownie together which our waitress thought was odd.
As we were walking back to the hotel, we walked past what was quite clearly a school disco type party. The local college girls had put their shortest skirts and freckles and were planning on debasing themselves. as they flittered excitedly past us to their venue, Graham had an attack of rage and clotheslined a top heavy student with force. He must not have realised his strength as he took the poor girls head clean off! We disposed of the body as best as we could and continued on...

Tomorrow, I will shout "ROCOGNISE!" and "TESTIFY" every time someone comments on my clothing like some sort of baptist preacher.