5th July - Gay pride

I try to avoid working saturdays so today was a rarety. Getting up early is bad enough but when its raining, I get really cranky. At the bus stop, I concussed a waiting pensioner and used his body to keep me above the rising sea level.

I was working just off Regents street. No one told me it was the gay pride march! People are going to think my job was a ruse to have a walk around in tight pants! One of the displays had a sign saying "God is gay!" There was one next to it saying "Tony Blair is gay!" The customer commented on the suprise celebrity people coming out.

The customer got a call from his wife who gave him grief for the over running work. She hung up on him and we exchanged the following noises:

Me: What wives need is a swift kidney punch.
Him: I don't think its right to hit women.
Me: I... er... um. What I meant was...
Him: Yes? Are you saying you don't hit women?
Me: Oh no! I mean yes! A right punching whenever I can!
Him: I can't say I feel comfortable about this conversation.
Me: I understand.... You wanna go out and join the parade?
Him: Would I!? Lets get right out there and take our tops off!!! YAY!

I was on the tube on the way home (Victoria line), when I noticed a classy chick sat opposite looking at me. She smiled at me. I noticed she was wearing a wrist support. After a while, I realised that she was really into me. When my stop arrived, I got up and walked over to her.

"Listen lady, you have nothing to offer me with that sort of injury!". She looked hurt.
As I stepped of the locamotive I shouted, "NOTHING, YOU WHORE!"

In hindsight, there was probably more than a few things she could have done for me that didn't require the use of her wrists. You live and learn.