My mum has two birthdays. She insists on this fact every year. One of my brothers thinks that its because she is actually the queen of England! "Have you noticed how they are never in the same room at the same time?", he says this often. I have a different theory. I think she developed a second birthday (or backup birthday as I call it) to give my dad a second chance when he forgets the first one. Either way, she only gets one present from me. A request for a second present will be answered with a jab to the kidneys. She has been warned.
Later on in the day, I got a picture text from my God daughter of herself with text saying hello. I called my brother and had the following dialogue.
Me: She can send picture messages? Shes only a day old!
Bro: Yup. shes a quick learner!
Me: Can she walk?
Bro: No
Me: Long division?
Bro: No
Me: Make pasta?
Bro: No
Me: How is this possible?
Bro: It's the state of todays education system. The priorities are all jumbled!
Me: Fucking labour government!
Bro: I know!
A discussion arose about my beer belly. It all got a bit insulting so after uprooting my mums rose bush, I went home and did some push ups. This really hurt so I drowned the pain with a pizza. I shall be fit as a fiddle within weeks.
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