13th May

I seem to have an illness today. Runny nose, sore throat. I told Koulla as I was getting ready for work. She asked where I got it from. I told her it was a sympathy disease for the Burmese and their plight. The news is talking about the earthquake in China. If my body sympathises with them too, I might get fucking E-Coli!

Mike is back! I shall elaborate. Mike is a colleague who was out of commision for a bit after having an accident whilst cycling in Swindon. He was pretty mashed up so it was good to see him again. He says that he toppled off his bike and scraped along the floor but his stories is riddled with inconsistencies:
I know that Mike is a flagrant communist. I envisage him getting his injuries whilst trying to slip RAF type plans to little Russian fellas. I'm onto him, though. NOT ON MY WATCH, NANCY BOY!!!!! I particularly like the scar near his groin.

Lunch time saw me buy a greek salad. As i paid for it the shop keeper shook his head in disgust and said I was pandering to the stereo type. I silently opened my salad container and threw the green peppers in his face. "I FUCKING HATE PEPPERS!". I left the shop after throwing a copy of heat magazine to the floor. A lady with a dog stood in the doorway looking shocked.

Driving home my mobile rang. It was Koulla asking me if I wanted some of her specially concocted soups for dinner. I agreed seeing as I still had the throat thing. I had a vision of her making the soup from Star wars that Lukes aunt makes. I swore a promise that if the soup was blue i would force a little bit of vomit onto her feet. As it turned out, the soup contained chicken, rice and some celery. I kept my fluids within me.

The after dinner conversation inadvertantly moved onto the forthcoming sex and the city movie. K thinks I should watch it with her and in return she will watch Indiana Jones and the last hip replacement, with me. I put my foot down. If she forced me to see that movie, I would throw a random punch everytime I saw that one whose face looks like a foot. When K tried to reason with me I crossed my arms and shouted "BLAH BLAH BLAH". Thats when she calmly let me know that she put laxative in my soup. I panicked a little. She told me that I should count myself lucky as she'd run out of Hemlock and there was none at the co-op. I told her that she would be better off checking the tesco express. They got everything.

Enough for now. Lets hope this toilet visit doesnt have traces of blood like the last batch.