30th May

She finally did it. Koulla went to see Sex and the city. She offered to tell me what happened in the film when she got home but I threatened to swallow my own tongue. I'm glad she enjoyed it. It would make a happy contrast to the day when she discovered the liquid nitrogen in her bottle of facial scrub.

Today the house was turned upside down as my dad attempted to assemble the newly delivered wardrobes as I worked in my office. He made such a racket at one point, I had to tazer him into silence. He still had spazmodic twitching when he left the house. Mum called to thank me a few hours later.

After half heartedly cleaning some of the mess, I headed to the cinema to meet up with the Pilalis boys to watch the new instalment of the Indiana Jones movie. I hope im still as active as doctor Jones when I reach his age. Alex kept getting text messages throughout the movie. It looked like he was texting a friend the various scenes in the film. I thought about reporting him for video piracy but then decided that he was no real threat to movie industry. Instead I knocked all his popcorn to the floor and gave him a wedgie. That'll learn him.


The cinema was awash with groups of ladies milling around , waiting for their showing of sex and the city. They all queued for diet cokes and nachos, complimenting each others mascara.
"All of you just shut up and start kissing!", I shouted. Women never listen. I resent them for that. One of them actually dressed up like one that Carrie sort. I punched her repeatedly until she coughed up blood. The security guard agreed with me when I told him that she'd deserved it.

When I got home, Koulla was still up watching Jonathan Ross interview John Barrowman (that's right, him again!). Some dialogue ensued. See below:

K: He's gay, you know?
Me: Marvelous, put the kettle on.
K: I bet he would fancy me, if he met me.
Me: Yeah me too.
K: Really?
Me: Yup... TEA!!!!!!!
K: What because of my looks?
Me: Yes. ONE SUGAR!
K: You think he goes for my type?
Me: YES! You have man like qualities. I WANT A TEA!!!!!

Needless to say, I didn't get my tea. My marriage is riddled with disappointments like that.