The problem with working in the office is that there are less blogable goodies to yarn about. The few things that did happen today at work are goldies nontheless. We start with Esskay and his recent interest in boxing. He seems to be in a bit of pain from the new exercise regime. A commendable hobby if there ever was one but not when he went out at lunch and bought himself a big fuckoff tube of protein beefcake powder. This sparked a debate in the office. I had images of his bollocks falling off and all sorts of hormonal travesties happening to him. Esskay would look hot if he grew a set of tits. I told him so. In all honesty, he should be fine. Zacks been doing it for ages and he seems ok. Hes got this odd button like growth on his head but, thankfully, we are told its nothing to worry about. sometimes I press it hoping a doorway to Narnia will open. Instead of seeing Mr Tumnus pop out, he gets a little annoyed with me and threatens to hurt me. Zacks the sort of guy who hangs around macdonalds stabbing gang members. As long as I keep off his turf I will be ok.
Ade and I walked to the shop to get some snacks. There was a big guy in front of us walking the tiniest of dogs. The little dog was running to keep up with his/her owner. it accidentally got its legs all tangled up in the leads and started mentalising all over the pavement. The owner didn't notice the plight his pet was going through and proceeded to drag the poor dog down the street. The dog finally sorted itself and carried on as if nothing happened. If it could have spoken, it would have declared "That was nearly the end of me, man!". The dog was quite clearly a Nam veteran in my mind.
When I got home, Koulla told me that she was in the Garden today and noticed a mid sized pile of excrement on the grass. She didn't think it was a fox. I got defensive and said the following:
"What? You think its me taking a dump on the grass? You can't pin nuffink on me!". She reassured me that she didn't think I was doing it and that she thought it was a cat. Later that evening, the auto sensor light flicked on and upon investigation, I saw a fox squating right dead centre on the lawn. Before it could steam one out, I knocked on the window and startled it into the next garden. If I had been the fox, there would have been no way I could have shifted so quick without finishing the job. I would have been a rubbish fox.
Later that night apprentice was on. There was some sort of wedding theme to it, this week. I could feel K figiting next to me. "If you are restless, get up and make us a tea", says I as I tapped away on my DS. I could see what was coming up. She started talking about renewing our vows on our tenth wedding anniversary. I told her that I would be surprised if we made 5 years let alone 10. I could hear her crying as she made tea in the kitchen. I felt bad so I made an effort to sing show tunes when she sat back down. Women are so sensitive. Especially when you attach electrodes to their toes while they are sleeping!
Tomorrow should be good. My little cousin Donnie is staying over. Hes always a golden source of stories that I can put in my blog. Let's all pray that he does not let us down.
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
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