24th May

That's right, I missed a day! I have feelings too!

All you need to know is that yesterday, I finished my course and said goodbye to Igor and the gang. Kyp and celebrated by mooning innocents whilst driving on the M25. Do you remember what you were doing when you first found out that the M25 was a big circle of a road? I do. It was a revelation. It was like the scene in Ghost when Sam Wheat (played by Patrick Swaze) realises that his buddy arranged for him to be killed. I cried a little with this realisation (about the round M25 thing). To my knowledge, Patrick Swaze is still alive.

Today was an altogether different sort of day. For a start, I slept an inordinate amount of time. I think I deserved it what with all the sleep I lost during this week. I celebrated with a slice of toast. Koulla berated me for not making her a slice. Out of guilt, I rubbed my slice all over her face until the marmite made her eyes swell up and sting. She obviously hates marmite.

Frosty has been behaving most strangely. She didnt fancy leaving her cage at all today. Koulla suggested that it was because Frosty was on the blob. I pictured Frosty excessively moaning about her life and getting me to rub her back. Lets hope she doesn't shrink my favourite pants in the wash by accident.

I chucked a whole heap of stuff today with what is becoming a regular visit to the charity shop. As I handed over the sack to the nice lady, I noticed one of my favourite comfy tee-shirts was in the bag. I took revenge by writing profanities on all of Koullas favourite dvds in permanent marker. For exmaple "50 first dates" now declares the following: "50 first c**nts".
Here are a selection of others I edited:

Failure to Spaz
Munge in law
Love Spactually
The family bone
The sound of munge buskets
Knobbing Hill
Woman on top (I wish)

and my favourite:
Somthings gotta give (me head)

Some people would say that what I do is tantamount to bullying. Others would say it isnt. I have not taken a survey on the matter.