22nd May

Today had all the day after euphoria expected after yesterdays football. I felt like I had had sex with 5 different women and then they refused payment.... Good times. I hear John Terry is still crying. Poor lad.

Driving to our course, I nearly had a car accident with Volvo which had some sort of ancient relic at the wheel. I let loose with a torrent of abuse as he nearly drove into the side of me without seeing me. It made me think how tenuous our existence on this planet was.... It then made me think that I really wanted a bacon and egg McMuffin. nom nom.

Igor wasn't saying much in the course. This bothered me. I made a promise to find out what his surname was on the course register. Later that day, I had a look and it said "Silch". I was disappointed.
There are two swedish guys on the course and one decided to pipe up and ask a question today. He opened his trap and I nearly exploded with laughter (again). He sounded like the chef from the muppet show that had just smoked some weed! I hid my face so they wouldn't see me laughing. I must be some sort of Xenophobe to find such things so funny.

Tomorrow is the last day f the course. The trainer promised us that he would by us some ice cream from the van at lunch time. When he told us that he would get our preference tomorrow before he bought the treat, Kyp and I both shouted, "SCREWBALL!". Half the attendees didn't know what a screwball was. The other half thought we were juvenile. We planned to kill that half when they least expected it.

On the way home, i noticed thatthe chelsea faithful were still trawling the streets in a daze of misery. I basked in their pain and then called my dad in Cyprus to gloat at him. He threatened to hurt me down the phone. I wished him happy birthday then had my dinner....