7th May

Woke up early to go to Peterborough. Im not convinced that I actually slept since last night. Apparently tiredness kills. Maybe it only kills tired people who sleep with their socks on.

Thought about licking Koulla's cheek whilst she slept so she could smell my morning breath when she woke up but thought better of it.

After a rubbish 3 hour drive, I met Sophie and Dee at the reception of the days job. I pretended to be stuck in the revolving door but the recepionist didn't laugh. I told her I was joking but she just frowned. I made a mental note to lick my security pass before giving it back to her at the end of the day.

In the meeting, I made a joke about restricted downloads, suggesting that the customer downloaded porn during working hours. Sophie laughed. Her mouth opened so wide I contemplated jamming my fist in there to see if it would fit. I didn't. Customers get funny about things like that.

Dee was wearing a striped colourful shirt. I stared at it for a while and thought I saw a magic eye image. The customer saw I was staring at Dees chest. I think they may complain about me to the bosses. I was too tired to care about the meeting.

Koulla and I visited my brother. I forgot to lend him my Wii games. I was annoyed that my nephew was already sleeping when i got there. I thought about waking him by squeezing his nostrils shut but dont think thats approved of. I really want to teach him to swear like a grown up and angry man. Again, this is probably wrong.

Went home and watched apprentice. The boss/bro called to inform me of a job change for the next day. I'm betting that the customer I meet tomorrow has a nervous twitch. If he does, I may fight him....