9th May

Its been a week of disturbed sleep and today was no exception. I could hear a buzzing from yonder bath room. Upon investigation iIsaw that it wasn't a vibrator on medium setting but a massive wasp looking for escape. It bounced around for a bit until it flew out of the window I opened for it. In waspese i thought i heard it say: "Thank you, sir. You truly are the king of all beasts!"
I was delighted..... until i checked my concise english-waspese dictionary where I saw that the insect had actually said "'bout time, bastard!"... I think im more of a Bee man anyway.

It was a busy day. So much so that when I went to buy a sausage roll off the shop keeper, I didnt engage him (Olaf I think his name is) at the usual banter. I only stopped working to inspect the locusts Andy had ordered to feed his Chameleon. I asked him if he thought we should put his lizard with my budgie for a few days and see if they procreate. He said no. I hope I haven't pushed the boundaries of friendship with that request. I feel like i've asked him to share my bed.

My afternoon meeting was chaos. There were two highlights listed below:

1) The wink given to me by Ade when we heard that we would have to go to Amsterdam for some work soon. I think he was suggesting (by winking at me) that we could get some nice tulips while we were out there. I personally felt that it was a god given reason for a fuckfest. It's funny how people think differently.

2) Our supplier techie guy sat next to me. I noticed that he wore special orthapaedic shoes. I felt sorry for him. I was tempted to ask him what it was like to be special but I didn't.

A special mention should be made for Don whose last day it was today. With him leaving, I no longer have an excuse to talk patois in the office. From here on in (should there be hyphens in that?) if I do talk jive, I might get accused of rascism!

After going grocery shopping, The wife and I decided to eat out in the garden. I opened the back door but we ended up eating in from of the telly. I suggested that rather than eating "al fresco" we should call it "al fuckso". Koulla didn't laugh. Tonight I will wait til shes asleep and write "SPANG" in big letters on her forehead in nail varnish. I hope she finds that funny....